Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
