hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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