...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
