so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
