i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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