I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
