It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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