Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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