You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
