okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
