I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
