Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
