when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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