idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize