you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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