Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
