i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
