We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
then he tried to convert me to islam
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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