last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize