we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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