It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
