i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
