just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
