I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
