we're blogging at a bar
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
