I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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