But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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