drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
