i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is the high leading the old right now
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
