Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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