I'm laying in your front yard are you home
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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