Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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