Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
