He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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