You smell like stripper and shame
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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