I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
