He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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