new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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