cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
