why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
