What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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