I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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