just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
whose parrot is this?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
