He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
