There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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