Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
