Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
