i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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