he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
