dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
