went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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