i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
