tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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