I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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