What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
