whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Randomize
