Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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