i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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