My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
