i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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