it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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