Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
