Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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