I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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