I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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