i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
