look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
