can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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