So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize