I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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