So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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