wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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