I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
