if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize