Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
