your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
